‘You’ve hurt me one too many times, now you will have to EARN my trust back!’
‘How could you do that to me?? After all I’ve done for you!’
You may have said these phrases before, or you may have heard them said to you before…either way, lets look at TRUST.
TRUST…a word with deep, deep roots in our lives. It carries powerful feelings, and when we feel it’s been broken, we feel shattered inside.
It’s often never restored, and many relationships are lost as a result; and if it is restored…is the relationship ever like it was before?
That word holds so much POWER, and we give it so much MEANING.
Dictionaries define ‘trust’ as: “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.”
Allow me to share with you, how I learned from a big loss.
I wanted to cry, and I did, for days and days.
I had just lost someone whom I cared about very deeply.
This man was one of the best men I’d met in a long time. I was in love.
And then, I disappointed him deeply, on a something he was taking a big risk on.
I failed to follow through on my end and caused him to lose out on something very important, something that would have been a big part of our lives together.
This led to a huge fight…about broken trust.
This mistake I made was going to cost each of us a lot…emotionally and financially.
After several days of fighting, we were on the brink of giving up on each other and ending the relationship all together.
And then, I had an angelic intervention happen.
It came in the form of a psychic healer at a festival.
This beautiful healer, shared with me a reading, and in that reading she stated the relationship was not done, but that I needed to heal my inner wounds around trust.
In my heart, I knew she was right…I’d had trust issues for most of my life, especially when it came to relationships and men.
I needed to address this for my life before I lost out again with love, and the lessons I am to be learning from all of these seemingly devastating relationship experiences.
I began the deep dive into my trust issues, and what I learned about myself in the end was better than any college degree or countless hours with a therapist (my apologies to all my therapist friends out there).
Along this path of discovery and healing, I found out who I am at my core…I discovered where the root of my trust issues began and I dove deeper into the healing that was required – was it easy? No.
So, you may be wondering what did I actually learn about trust?
I learned that you have to be open to having a new perspective on how trust exists in life…and what I am going to share may be a bit unconventional.
One of the most important things I learned about trust is to EMPOWER myself without giving my power away to others…and, viewing trust as a self-empowered personal choice.
Second, was I needed to shift some thinking around. Having such a deep background in Behavioral Studies, my thinking at times was very black and white…not always the best when dealing with matters of the heart.
Third, was about MY choices. When you blame others for your emotional well being; well, that’s your ego screaming loud and causing you to feel like a victim. I learned to follow the 3 F’s.
Lastly, I stopped trying to be ‘right’ all the time. I’m not perfect, no one is. When you look at others to ‘earn’ their trust back with you, you are making them wring, which means you must be right.
You’ve heard the saying, “You can either be right, or you can be happy…it’s your choice.”
What this taught me was; if we can get out of the victim standpoint and mentality and take full responsibility for what we’ve created (good or bad), we have the potential to create a life full of loving and supportive relationships that we actually LOVE to be a part of.
So, instead of focusing on what the ‘other person is doing right/wrong’ start thinking about what you actually CAN control in your life and that’s YOU!
Honor the space you are in. Choose which thoughts serve your highest and greatest good; you will know what to do from there.
Hire a coach, surround yourself with the right people, take risks, and for the love of all things holy and beautiful – START TRUSTING YOURSELF.
One day, you will look back and realize: The most painful moments get you exactly where you need to be.
It’s great to enjoy the highs.
Ride the lows.
And no matter what – keep moving forward and keep your heart open to love, and attracting your soul mate relationship.
Just know, that I am here to support you along the way. When you make space for love, it will find its way to you, and even the most unlikely pairings are possible.
While your reading, go ahead and schedule your Complimentary Session with me…30 minutes of uninterrupted time to work out some love kinks, here’s the link: ReleasingTheBlocks