by Kathryn Wilking


It should be fun meeting new people, but socializing can be stressful for many people.  Rather than missing out, think ahead and plan to talk about the things you like to do. Also, have a few opening questions prepared to start up a conversation.

Whether you are looking for dates or new friends, ask a few key questions at your next gathering; the answers will tell you a great deal about someone. You can easily figure out if you’d like to hang out with someone, or not.

How to get to know someone in 3 min or less:

  1. Rather than assume people work or they are retired. Ask, “What do you do during the day?” This question will open a dialogue.
  2. Then, “What do you do with your spare time?”, or “What do you do for fun on the weekends?” This tells you about their after-work personality and if there is ANY common ground.
  3. If talking with a couple, don’t hesitate to ask, “How long have you been a couple?” or, ‘Are you a couple?’ Do not assume everyone is married, coupled off or even looking for partners.

If someone tells you they like to do knitting or crossword puzzles in their spare time, it shows a sense of detail and accomplishment. Inquire about more interests to see if they can interact with team activities (scrabble or other hobbies) to find common ground. If a person is talking about extreme sports, he/she may not be the nurturing, caring, private person you are looking to connect with.

You can match different personalities with the five earth properties through feng shui.  Here is a short breakdown of some personality traits that can help you decide whether to talk further with this new person or move along.

Wood –energy people are extraverts. They love crowds, people and action. They love to keep moving and like physical activities. They can easily gather people around themselves for a cause. They make fun friends; always coming up with a new place to go and new things to do.

Fire-energy people are also extraverts. They love to be in the limelight, entertaining the masses with stories, music and song. They make lively friends as they always in the right place at the right time; but, they can be exhausting. You may have to say ‘no’ to some of their many activities.

Earth-energy people can be found at the side lines. They will be checking to see if everyone is having a good time, or if more ice is required at the bar. Earth people are great friends to have for one-on-one conversations. They like quieter activities, such as reading or cooking and appreciate a close connection. They make great arbitrators for discussions and like to keep others happy.

Metal-energy people are introverts. They generally don’t like parties and will only show up if there is a specific reason. They take great pride in being in control of themselves and will lose respect for those who don’t. (i.e.: drunk or disorderly) Metal people are highly organized and particular about what they do and who they hang out with. If you can find a common interest to explore, they will be dedicated and appreciate you.

Water-energy people are introverts and really don’t like social gatherings. Water people can get a little cranky around too many people, loud music and a disruption in their schedule. They make great loyal friends, but they don’t necessarily put out the effort to connect, as they’re happy settled into their routine.

Regardless of the answers you receive to your get-to-know-you questions, everyone has an alter ego; things that many would not choose to discuss on the first encounter.  Maybe they secretly love to watch reruns of 60’s sitcoms, or have a weird hobby. If the interest is there, perhaps you and your new friend can explore these things together.

Learning to identify different personalities through feng shui is an ‘extraordinary talent’, and yes, you can use this to identify those who will support you, and help you grow.

Enjoy meeting new people wherever you go; there are unlimited opportunities waiting for you! All the best to you while meeting new people.

~Kathryn Wilking

Kathryn Wilking is an Author, Home Stager and Feng Shui Consultant.  With over 20 years of experience in Decorating and Home Improvements, she added Feng Shui to her skills. Feng shui is the ‘Art of Balance’. Kathryn works with Home Owners and Small Business to find balance and harmony in each situation; from setting up your office, finding the best place to sit in a meeting, and building strong sales teams.

Kathryn introduces a Personal Element Profile (PEP Quiz) that relates to the earth properties. Finding this balance can be a game-changer when hiring new staff or dealing with old relationships.

As an active Professional Member of the International Feng Shui Guild, Kathryn is available for private consultations, talks and workshops. Check out her book ‘Practical Feng Shui for the Office’ (2013) and connect with her through